Marriage

Marriage gets real & fast!

I decided to start writing down my thoughts about marriage, one because I have a pretty good one and bring relevant things to say on the subject and two, I think I am pretty funny! Ask anyone – especially my kids, I totally crack myself up.  In our family, we thrive and survive on a good laugh. My husband has a quick wit and I am wildly sarcastic. The funny bones run deep in our line so it was no surprise, when both our kids inherited the gift of quick wit and sarcasm!  They are hilarious. It really is a blessing and a curse though, especially during the middle school years. It became a real dicey time in our house as we were working hard to retain control – all while trying not to laugh and take notes. However, depending on how the smart come backs and our tempers escalated, grounding someone for life became a real possibility! Many times, we had to turn that wagging finger back around and remember who really created these smart mouthed monsters!

I know people perceive us as a very close loving family, however, I am sure it’s been said we are hilariously funny and sometimes, our humor is pretty inappropriate. Totally true! My clan can definitely be crude, you can bet one of us is saying what most of the room is thinking but in the most brutal and super funny way possible.  We live for the laughs and honestly, in these ridiculous times we live in where history is now offensive and a platform for prejudice, I am proud that my kids have an abundance of common sense and a great sense of humor. The current climate of the world needs to lighten up! Life is a gift and it’s fleeting, let’s choose joy! (soapbox stray)

Getting back to my self-proclaimed marriage ninja credentials.  My husband and I celebrated 30 years in 2018.  We have been together for 34 years total and as I mentioned before, we have two grown kids who are not only funny, but goodhearted kind people! It’s a real eye opener when people in the community actually come up to us and let us know how much they love our kids! Phew! Every parent lives for this! Positive feedback. The one true sign that perhaps, your parenting style didn’t suck! We sure stuck-it to those assholes who labeled us too young to get married. I was 19 and my husband was 22. I mean it goes without saying, people were pretty sure we didn’t know what the hell we were getting into (and…we didn’t) but we didn’t care, we had a plan. Let’s face it, times were different in the 80’s – of course everyone uses that line to justify their circumstances, but it’s true!  In the late 80’s kids graduated from high school and moved on. Not like nowadays, where you may still have your 30-year-old living with you! To be fair to the Millennials, the cost of living is outrageous and it’s tough out there! Getting back to us, we were young and on our own, looking to start a future with no guarantees, but we were very in love and optimistic. We had the “together we can do anything”attitude – hell, we were “in it to win it” because we were in love! Yup, basically young, immature and blinded by love with no real life experiences. The perfect combination for disaster. Then it happened. Reality kicked us square in the face! Two months into the marriage, we were living away in a different state so my husband could go to trade school and we were now pregnant! This was a real-life, grown-up problem. This wasn’t in our fairy tale life plan ! We weren’t going to have kids for at least 3 years. In that moment, time stopped as we looked at each and then at the Dr – “oh shit!” running through our minds as we realized-our plan is useless! We are going to have a kid! We don’t have real jobs or a house – heck, we don’t have medical insurance! What the hell are we going to do ? It was right then that we truly realized what being married meant. It wasn’t a binding document that meant we would be together forever and in love, nope, that stupid piece of paper that registered us in the State of Washington as a “legal” couple, that required me to get a new last name and new social security card meant that no longer was there an I or a me, we were a WE. Husband and wife, together we were one unit, a team with a “no- man- left- behind” mantra and now we have to prepare for our newest recruit. We were going to be parents. Life just got real interesting!

Becky Breeden